A story of romantic
love
Prodita Sabarini, The
Jakarta Post, Jakarta | Sun, 28/09/2014 12:24 PM
Sweet Valentine: Baker
Emily Jones decorates chocolate hearts at the Lake Champlain Chocolates factory
in Burlington, Vermont, on Feb. 11.AP/Toby TalbotFor many, February is the
month of romance.
Valentine’s Day on Feb.
14th gives people a momentum to celebrate love and express it to their object
of affection.
The classic formula to
mark the occasion usually includes a romantic dinner for two, red roses,
chocolate, candy and a greeting card. For those with more money to spend, a
holiday getaway and jewelry might come into the picture.
Those skeptical of the
day’s hype might refuse to partake in the consumerist frenzy, saying that love
should be celebrated on any day of the year. Romantics, who love the special
occasion, meticulously plan their activities on Valentine’s Day. And there
are those who don’t mind being given a reason to be romantic [6].
But for every type of
person holding different opinions on Valentine’s Day, romantic love is more
than dinner and gifts. It is the one drug that everyone loves — as long as it
lasts. It gives people energy, sparks creativity, and makes a besotted person
incredibly focused on one’s object of affection.
Romantic love is a greats motivator and a muse to every day[1]. The many poems
dedicated to love is testament to that. Love drives people to go the extra
mile. The fear of loosing love and jealousy can drive people to the worst of
actions, from stalking to murder.
Beyond kowtowing to the
demands of a commercialized Valentine’s Day, The Jakarta Post asked people what
they did when driven by this intense emotion, and what their perception of
romantic love was.
Most answered they wanted
an everlasting relationship. A happily married mother of one said love was an
illusion, referring to the roles of dopamine and serotonin in our brains.
Others say they believe in love in a metaphysical manner. And an
editor-cum-artist dreams of a noncommittal everlasting love.
The feisty, 25-year-old
Bali-based editor Annisa Dharma said here
feelings were driven by “assemble beautiful words that woo”[7]. It had also
driven her to make what she called “grand gestures”.
“I’ve moved countries
for a boy. I’ve made a song for a
boy [8]. I’ve created art for a boy. I’ve let go of my ambition for a
boy,” she said.
Annisa
said her actions were driven by romance [9].
“I think romance is
more of a language. Romance and love don’t go hand in hand,” she said.
“Personally, I can’t be
romantic to someone I truly love, and likewise, when I don’t love a person, I
can be the most romantic person ever.”
However if she really
loves someone, she would not do anything to hurt or harm herself. “Because I’d
trust them with all my heart,” she said.
Annisa added she would
be meeting her love to last forever[2]. “Thus, no commitments…Free and
liberating.”
She however would not
mind getting married “if I found the right one, in which the relationship
didn’t change regardless of the married status. That would mean getting married
purely as an act of romance… which is fine,” she said.
For 28-year-old Yolanda
Nirmala, love has such a powerful effect on her it made her think twice
about her religion and chose to live without it. She said she found peace as an agnostic.
about her religion and chose to live without it. She said she found peace as an agnostic.
“Would it makes sense
to you if I told you that being in love once led to me being agnostic? That’s
how powerful love is in my life,” she said.
Coming from a
conservative Muslim family, Yolanda fell in love with a man who had a Catholic
upbringing. She was in her early 20s, in college; meanwhile, her partner was in
his early thirties.
Their families
disapproved of their relationship because they came from different faiths. They continued to date in secret for fear
of being separated [10].
She and her partner
devised a plan to elope to Singapore and live abroad. She will be started to save up money for their planned future together
tomorrow[3]
During this time, she
started to question religion.
“I started to lose my
faith in religion. I started to ask myself: ‘What is the point of religion have
if it used to hate other people?’ Because of a different religion, one can hate
and stay away from others?”
Life sent her on
another path, Yolanda said, as her boyfriend was killed in a car accident in
their two years of relationship.
“I was sad as sad can
be. But the thing that didn’t die with him, was me being an agnostic,” she
said. “I don’t feel there is a strong reason to fit in boxes that separate
people.”
For 29-year-old Ramdan
Sudrajat, love has made him do things he never imagined he could do.
“I cleaned my
girlfriend’s father’s behind when he was ill after having a stroke,” he said.
“I even surprised
myself. I have never even seen my own father naked. That’s the power of love,” he
said.
The relationship with
his girlfriend eventually fizzled. That was around 2006 he said, and he was
over it.
“Failure is normal.
Even though I regret the decision to break up. I still remember her as a part
of the story of my life,” he said.
“I think love is when
you put your trust and hope in someone whom you wish to be your life companion
and who will be by your side until you get old,” he said.
While Ramdan is looking to forge a lasting
relationship soon[4]. Yolanda said she was not in a rush and was looking
for a mature relationship, with a solid long-term plan. “If a guy says sweet
things to me such as ‘I like you’ or something similar, until he proves it I
would say it’s bulls**t,” she said. And until she finds that love, she is happy
with casual dates.
Maria Ferrari, 33, a
mother and a singer, has a very rational perspective on romantic love. She
believes it is an illusion, and the emotion comes from a combination
neurotransmitters in the brain.
“In reality, [most]
humans whether they realize it or not are self-centered,” she said. “For me,
the deepest and craziest [thing one can do] for ‘love’ is to keep it unspoken.”
She believes a
committed relationship occurs when two people agree to want to “know” their
partners.
“The ‘want’ is full of
conflict. And often it becomes a drama, just like sinetron,” she said. Maria
added there was no time frame in getting to know one’s partner. “Because humans
are dynamic,” she went on.
Despite her rational
perspective, Maria enjoys being infected with the emotions.
“Being high and low is
exciting. Because [sometimes] that is what people look for. So life doesn’t
feel that bland,” she said.
Scientists have
explained love through neuroscience. A professor of Neuroscience in Emory
University in Atlanta, Georgia, Larry Young. wrote in scientific journal
Nature, that love could be explained by a series of neurochemical events in a
specific area of the brain. From his research Young finds that oxytocin levels
in the brain may enhance humans ability to form trusting relationships.
Meanwhile
anthropologist Helen Fisher states that different neurotransmitters such as
testorerone, dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin have roles in the phases of
romantic love, which are lust, attraction and attachment. In her articles,
Fisher wrote that when someone faces rejection, the body goes into protest and
also a renewed passion that she coined “frustration attraction”, which results
from the prolong effect of dopamine.
To cope with all the
highs and lows of love, Maria suggested being conscious of all these emotions.
Taking advice from
meditation teacher, she said: “Consciously enjoy everything, and observe”.
Penjelasan :
1. Romantic love is
a greating motivator and a muse to every day[1]
Kalimat Active voice di
atas masuk kedalam bagian Present Continous
2. Annisa added she would be meeting her love
to last forever[2]
Kalimat Active Voice di
atas masuk kedalam bagian Pat Future Continuous
3. They started to save up money for their planned
future together tomorrow[3]
Kalimat Active Voice di
atas masuk kedalam bagian Future Continous
4. Ramdan is looking to forge a lasting
relationship soon[4]
Kalimat Active Voice di
atas masuk kedalam bagian Present Continous
6. And
there are those who don’t mind being given a reason to be romantic[6].
Kalimat Passive Voice
di atas masuk kedalam bagian Present Continous.
7. Dharma said here feelings were driven by
“assemble beautiful words that woo”[7]
Kalimat passive voice
di atas masuk kedalam bagian Simple Past
8. I’ve
made a song for a boy [8].
Kalimat Passive Voice
di atas masuk kedalam bagian Simple Present.
9. They
continued to date in secret for fear of being separated [9].
Kalimat Passive Voice
di atas masuk kedalam bagian Present Continous.
10. Annisa
said her actions were driven by romance [10].
Kalimat Passive Voice
di atas masuk kedalam bagian Simple Past.
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